There is this phenomenon of post wedding blues. It also happens after a much-anticipated vacation is over. It's not surprising when you break it all down. Months and months can be spent planning and saving for the very short experience and it's over quickly (much like cooking an elaborate meal that's eaten in five minutes). Sure, you're left with memories (hopefully not disappointment) but it is gone in a flash. I remember a few years ago a friend of mine got back from her first European vacation with her husband and felt down afterwards. "I need something to look forward to," she said. I get that. It seems humans are wired to look to the next thing coming, whatever that may be.
I was listening to Dr. Mona Vand on SiruisXM yesterday telling this phenomenon to Maria Menunous. She's the newest Persian beauty on this season of Bravo's Shahs of Sunset. She talked about the "what next" factor she felt post-graduation. In school, you're striving toward finishing. Then you get your job, in her case she entered the world of drugstore pharmacies and for some pharmacists, that's it. That's all you do the rest of your life. Certainly for some personality types that is the game plan for life and they are content with the predictability and security of the work. But for many other personality types I believe this is what triggers so many people to get into their 30's and 40's (or 50's) and want to do something completely different. There is more out there, more we don't know when we're in school or until we've gotten our feet fully wet in the workforce. More after we've married perhaps too young and didn't know fully who we were or what we wanted yet, more after believing having children would fulfill us. More.
Vand and Meneunos used the example of buying another ferrari doesn't bring more joy when you already have several. After you have the houses, things in the houses, cars outside the houses, etc. people begin to do more out of the box things to get the next high. That can translate to drug use among some other peculiar behaviors that may satisfy the need for a new experience.
Is this enough?
Having a goal is fantastic. Having a dream even better. These are what get us excited to get out of bed each day. Because in all honesty nearly everything is possible with the right belief system and work behind it. Yet, we need to consider what will happen once we get to our goal. Once our dream is a reality. What's next?
If you were to make a list of 10 desires, could you make it a list that has nothing material on it? Experiences? Feelings? Situations? Achievements? These are the things that please our internal audience and give us true fulfillment.
Photo credit: https://pilotlightmedia.com/ferrari-collection/